Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
this hospital has no fireball
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
