I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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