she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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