I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom