dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.