grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power