my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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