Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?