with your own penis?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
jump out the window naked night went bad
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
