if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
