He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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