Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize