You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize