Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Randomize