farters have to be the big spoon...
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
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There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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