Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Randomize
