you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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