I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
