I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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