i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I'm always down for nudity.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
