I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I wish I could punch you in the face.
I puked a lego.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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