No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
My pussy is not your playground.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
