sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
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