No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
