I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Randomize
