Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
