Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
