Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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