thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
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He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
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Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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