She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
jump out the window naked night went bad
I have post one night stand depression
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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