if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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