I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
