you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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