Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
