i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
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I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
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Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
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