The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
