how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
