he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
