OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
