your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize