she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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