Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Randomize