You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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