When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
