I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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