i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
