For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
