Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
