**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
