So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
im having a threesome with these popsicles
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
