Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
