is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Randomize
