Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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