I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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