thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
