i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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