brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
