He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
