The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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