dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
