I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
