Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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