one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I need a beard to bite.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Randomize
