Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
