i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
We have so much sex to catch up on
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
